WIT Updates: Culture Code Snippet #9

Vulnerability: Ideas for Action

This month we finish exploring the second of Daniel Coyle's (The Culture Code) three big skills that create successful groups: build safety, share vulnerability, and establish purpose.

In chapter 12, Coyle covers ideas for action all around the idea of sharing vulnerability to create a cooperative organizational environment.

• Make sure the leader is vulnerable first and often. Coyle gives an example of a leader who, after his first TED talk, explains how scared he was. He points to several people in the room who helped him with the presentation technology when it wasn't working for him. Coyle says this underlines the deeper message, “it's safe to tell the truth here.” (p. 159)
• Overcommunicate expectations. If cooperation is your goal, be explicit and persistent about sending big, clear signals. Establish these expectations, model cooperation, and align language and roles to maximize helping behavior.
• Deliver the negative stuff in person. This is a key (often unspoken) rule. When you have to deliver bad news, do it in person. This creates an opportunity for true understanding. Coyle says this rule is not easy to follow because “(it's far more comfortable for both the sender and the receiver to communicate electronically), but it works because it deals with tension in an upfront, honest way.” (p. 161)
• When forming new groups, focus on two critical moments. Coyle refers to research by Jeff Polzer from Harvard Business School. Polzer traces any group's cooperation norms to two critical moments that happen early in the group's life: the first vulnerability and the first disagreement. At these moments, people either become defensive or they say, “Hey, that's interesting. Why don't you agree? I might be wrong, and I'm curious to talk more.” Coyle says what happens in these moments helps set the pattern for everything that follows. (p. 162)
• Listen like a trampoline. Good listening is about more than nodding attentively. It's about adding insights and creating moments of mutual discovery. Coyle references Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, who analyzed thousands of participants in a manager development program. As they put it, “the most effective listeners behave like trampolines; they aren't passive sponges, they're active responders, absorbing what the other person gives, supporting them, and adding energy…”
• In conversation, resist the temptation to reflexively add value. Coyle says this means forgoing easy opportunities to offer solutions or make suggestions. Skilled listeners understand that they need to keep the other person talking and thinking out loud. This way, you uncover risks and vulnerabilities, rather than collapsing the conversation into “let me tell you my story” mode.
• Use candor-generating practices like after-action reports, brain trusts, and red teaming. These tools can be applied in any business domain. Ask questions like: What were our intended results? What were our actual results? What can we do differently next time? (p. 164)
• Aim for candor; avoid brutal honesty. Coyle describes the distinction between candor (feedback that's small, targeted, less personal) and brutal honesty, which doesn't allow for comfort or a sense of belonging.

There are several other ideas for action that Coyle lists in this chapter, but I think all of them demonstrate that purposeful sharing of vulnerability offers the opportunity for people to grow, share, and cooperate.

Next month we will move on to the last big skill—Establishing Purpose.