The Power of "What Makes You Say That?"

Hello all,

This week I'm reposting a wonderful short top on communications- focused on learning and understanding. It's so easy and simple that it might actually make its way into my routine approaches, and that's something to celebrate.

It came as part of a newsletter my regional library network offers to their members- called Tech-Talk. (If you are interested in the newsletter, talk with your college librarians or your regional library network.)

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"Communications: Power Talking

"What makes you say that?"

Here is a powerful phrase you will find beneficial in a variety of ways.

When someone says something to you, very often replying with, “What makes you say that?” … before you start to give an answer or make a comment … can result in a whole new understanding of what your colleague had in mind.

If it’s a contentious situation, asking, “What makes you say that?” can add some clarity or it can bring to the surface the underlying issue.

If it’s a suggestion made in a project discussion, asking, “What makes you say that?” may reveal a concern or an alternative perspective.

If it’s a situation where you’ve just received a compliment, asking, “What makes you say that?” will result in your hearing something you did not expect … and which will make the nice comment even more meaningful

The Secret to Getting a Great Response

OK, just rebounding with, “What makes you say that?” has a certain art to it so that you don’t come across as challenging or difficult.

The secret is to acknowledge the person’s statement first in a non-committal way. That way they know you heard them and are ready to listen.

For example, when someone says something, you reply with…

“OK … what makes you say that?”

“Yes … what makes you say that?”

“Interesting … what makes you say that?”

“Hmm … what makes you say that?”

And second, say in a light-hearted, oh-by-the-way-manner, “What makes you say that?”

Try using this technique just for fun to see what happens. Maybe challenge yourself to use it three times in one day. That ought to plant the idea firmly in your communications resource bucket!"

All the best,

Holly