Better Allies Snippet #4

This month we're summarizing Chapter 4 (social and professional networks) and Chapter 5 (organizing and attending events).

Chapter 4: Social and Professional Networks

In Chapter 4, we get tips for expanding our networks—which has significant value for our wellbeing and our careers.

Catlin writes (p.64) we need to assess our networks to make sure that they're not “largely homogeneous professional networks”.

She quotes a report from the Kapor Center of Social Impact:

“75% of white people don't have any people of color in their social network.”

And she quotes the Women in the Workplace study by Lean In and Mackenzie & Company:

“Women are more than five times more likely to rely on a network that is mostly female.”

We tend to meet people through our neighborhoods, workplaces, hobbies, and places of worship—usually those similar to us. Building a network “across lines of difference” can be difficult, especially when it requires stepping out of our comfort zones.

As Catlin writes (p.66): “It certainly doesn't open our minds to the struggles that people with different and more marginalized experiences than us face in their lives and careers.”

Networking in the #MeToo Era

Catlin gives advice for men concerned about networking with women:

• Don't stop networking or mentoring.
• Bring along a coworker or meet for breakfast instead of dinner.
• Offer choices and an opt-out to show respect and consideration.

Given that leadership is still largely male-dominated, excluding women from networks means everyone loses out.

Diversifying Networks

Catlin (p.71-73) suggests diversifying by attending events that highlight other perspectives:

• Men attending events for women
• White people attending events for Black communities
• Cisgender individuals attending transgender-focused events

She acknowledges possible downsides for the intended audience but suggests these tips:

1. Check if publicity welcomes your presence; contact organizers if unsure.
2. Clarify your intent—learning and allyship are positive motives.
3. Be prepared to listen and not dominate conversations.

She concludes the chapter by stressing the value of diverse networks in learning and opening doors for others.

Action Tips

• Reach out to people for deeper connections
• Volunteer
• Attend conferences outside your field
• Challenge yourself to talk to someone different from you

Chapter 5: Organizing and Attending Events

This chapter is timely with the upcoming SUNY STC Conference!

Catlin shares experiences of microaggressions at events, such as being mistaken for support staff or facing inappropriate comments.

“Oh, I hear you used to work at Adobe. So did you work in HR or marketing?”
“Actually, I was a vice president of engineering.”

She describes these experiences as examples of “unconscious demotion”, a term coined by Dr. Suzanne Wertheim. These microaggressions are more than just annoying—they are harmful.

Strategies to Avoid Microaggressions

1. Accept that microaggressions are real and harmful.
2. Create forums for discussion to address the issue.
3. Speak up when you witness them.

10 Tips for More Inclusive Events

1. Use a diverse planning committee.
2. Feature diverse voices.
3. Create an effective code of conduct.
4. Ensure full accessibility.
5. Show diverse individuals in images/media.
6. Provide financial support.
7. Include mocktail options.
8. Review speaker content for offensive material.
9. Take a holistic view of the event experience.
10. Collect feedback and improve.

Speaking Up

Catlin (p.87-92) provides useful scripts for real-life allyship:

• Responding to jokes: “Wow, that was awkward.” or “That’s a bad stereotype.”
• To microaggressions: “That made me feel uncomfortable.” or “What makes you say that?”
• To harassment: “Everything okay here?”, “We don't do that here.” or “Not cool!”

Codes of Conduct

Effective codes of conduct should include:

• A clear purpose
• Expected behaviors
• Reporting mechanisms

They should not include:

• Rules irrelevant to the community
• Mandated politeness
• Unenforceable guidelines

Catlin concludes by urging allies to help enforce codes of conduct and make events equitable and welcoming.

Until next month—be well and keep learning!