Better Allies Snippet #5 - Meetings

This month we're summarizing Chapter 6, covering meetings in the workplace. Meetings are a constant and important part of our work in SUNY - so when biased behavior happens, it definitely happens there.

Catlin starts the chapter by listing some of the most common ways that women are marginalized in meetings. These include being asked to take notes or get coffee when they aren't part of the job, being talked over or ignored, and having someone else take credit for their ideas. These very common events are compounded for women of color and persist in many organizations despite the many policies and laws intended to prevent inequity. Catlin describes experiencing this herself while volunteering on a fundraising committee for her alma mater. One of her suggestions didn't get much traction, but then a few weeks later, she got a followup email from another committee member suggesting the very same idea! She quickly wrote back and said- “I think it’s a great idea. That’s why I suggested it at our last meeting.” Because not everyone is ready to call out such blatant disrespect - she marks this as a perfect opportunity for Allies to take action. Speaking up for others to make sure their ideas are credited to them is one way we can all be better Allies.

First, “Getting Interrupted”. Women are more often interrupted - even women with significant expertise and well-respected positions (like court justices, members of congress, political candidates, and organizational leaders). Interruptions and being talked over are everyday challenges for many women. Catlin suggests that men are simply more skilled and comfortable interrupting others, and also that women can be self limiting their speech in order to protect themselves against getting labeled “too aggressive” She also notes that using qualifiers when beginning a thought- like saying ‘Excuse me” or “May I ask” could be making women easier to interrupt. She cites researchers from Northwestern University and Georgetown University in this section (p. 96-97).

So what can we do about this? Because when not all voices are being heard in a meeting and not all ideas are properly considered or credited, our decisions are not as good as they could be, and some contributors are not appropriately appreciated or rewarded.

Here are “everyday actions to take in meetings to help ensure that all voices are heard:

1. When someone is interrupted interject and say you'd like to hear them finish,
2. If you see someone struggling to break into the conversation, say you'd like to hear other points of view,
3. If you see a “repeat offender” who interrupts frequently”, pull them aside and point it out,
4. Maintain eye contact and stay focused on the person who was interrupted! Not only does it demonstrate your support for that person, but your body language also helps direct the conversation back to them,
5. Nominate ”a gatekeeper” to keep the conversations on track.

If you say something insightful or even game-changing in a meeting only to have it dismissed or ignored, but then to have the same idea be well received when it’s said later by someone in the majority… that's “Idea Appropriation”. Catlin writes (p. 99) that Allies can borrow a page from a group of women who figured out how to stop this in its tracks in staff meetings during Barack Obama's first term as president. Women staffers adopted a strategy they called “amplification”. She writes, “When one of the women staffers made a key point, other women would repeat it and give credit to its author. This approach forced others in the room to recognize the contribution and denied them the ability to claim it as their own.” That’s a simple strategy that all allies can use to help prevent good ideas and solutions from being misappropriated. Anyone can do this for those who are less likely to be heard. You can even give credit as an idea is repeated by saying for example…” I like that idea a lot. In fact, when Anna brought that up last week in our one-on-one, I learned the following..” Amplification and giving credit are powerful ally actions!

Women and other marginalized folks also have to manage other attempts to undermine their credibility and authority - and there’s a role for Allies to help in all of them. On page 100, Catlin talks about how to handle “Off-topic Questions and Showboating.” Off-topic questions are used by people trying to test and distract to “undermine someone’s credibility and make themselves look smart in the process.” And you can tell when someone is showboating when they speak about the topic for 10 minutes before actually getting to their question- it’s clear that they simply want everyone to know that they are the real expert here. In higher education- wow, is this one common! Catlin says “it's a power play that's been used for years and can be incredibly distracting, forcing someone who was in a position of authority at the beginning of a meeting to suddenly have to defend their expertise. “This happens to women and minoritized group members all the time. It happens in tech, politics, casual conversations, and it certainly happens in meetings! And every time it happens, allies need to be ready to step in and redirect the conversations back to the expert!

There are a few other meeting problems that Catlin covers in chapter 6 that are really worth covering. First- “Meeting Housework.” Actually, I don't like that term office housework because - hello it’s not your house! But it’s tasks like taking minutes, scheduling follow-ups, cleaning up coffee cups or leftover papers, you know what all these tasks are. Don't expect women to handle all of this work! And if you identify as a woman, avoid the pattern of just accepting office tasks without rotating them so that everyone of all gender identities participating in the meetings takes their turn. If it’s not on your performance program, and it’s not going to lead to your next promotion- don't take it on!