Decode the Unwritten and Avoid the Sofa Headache

Hello all,

This week we are exploring the qualities and impacts of expectations in the workplace and in our personal lives.

Are expectations known or hidden? Do you only discover them when you break one? Are they achievable or impossible? Are they written for everyone or do they only work well for some?

Workplace expectations can be clear and manageable, leading to calm workplaces with high performers, but they can also be confusing and overwhelming. When we add modern holiday expectations to our everyday responsibilities, we can quickly become more stressed. If you are anything like me (and I know I am! Ha!), you want to do everything, go everywhere, help everyone, donate to every charity, and before you know it, you are curled up on the sofa with a headache and a hole in your bank account. Not good. And no-one wants that, but it happens.

Unspoken expectations in life and at work have the same effect. The unwritten rules of behavior, the workplace cultures that everyone knows except the newer folks...these don't serve our goals of equity and inclusivity. It's past time that we acknowledge and articulate these hidden expectations before they cause more harm.

In addition to talking with your colleagues and supervisors about your workplace, check out these sources to learn more:

• The Secret to Addressing Unspoken Expectations at Work from the human resources consulting group Engaged gives summary advice for employers and supervisors from their work with organizations.
• 5 Hidden Workplace Rules No One Ever Tells You About, this video from the Black Career Women's Network explores likability, sponsorship, rules change as you move up, visibility matters, the workplace is a game and you have to be willing to play.
• Tips for Navigating Unwritten Rules from a presentation posted by Florida international University that includes some wonderful cartoons: "Develop a rebound/resiliency strategy for when you unknowingly violate an unwritten rule. Do your own research, talk to trusted colleagues/former employees to get “the scoop.”, Learn from others’ mistakes and successes., Know when and how to address harmful unwritten rules and practices. IMPORTANT NOTE: If the office norms are discriminatory or harmful, address them with your supervisor; an appropriate official within your chain-of-command; HR or the EEO office, as appropriate"

Finally, bring the strategy of talking within your networks to articulate the hidden expectations to this upcoming holiday season if you can. I know it will help you avoid the headache on the sofa!

All the best,
Holly